1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.

2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood stove, he is using you to heat the family room this winter.

3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids' names on them.

4. Your husband chirps, "Hi honey, I'm home." And your reply, "Well, if it isn't Ozzie frigging Nelson."

5.  Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot.

6.  When You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

7.  When you are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

8.  When.. "Getting a little action" means I don't need to take any fiber today.

9.  When.. "Getting lucky" means you find your car in the parking lot.